Sometimes I wish I could travel back in time to my freshman year and restart college knowing what I know now. Not only because it would have made things so much easier, but because I don’t want to go to class tomorrow. Why? Because tomorrow is the first day of my last semester as an undergraduate. After that, I’ll have to enter the real world and face making adult decisions.
The problem is I’m not ready. Four years later and I’m still no closer to having any clue as to what I want to do with my life. I’d hoped that somewhere along the way I would’ve stumbled upon something and had some kind of great awakening that would be life shattering. That’s not so much the case, however, I’ve discovered.
The truth is I’m scared and confused. I had plans to research options and possibilities all winter break long, but before I knew it, I’m sitting here on the eve of my final semester with regrets hanging over my head. The impending decisions that must be made are hanging in limbo still awaiting the amazing epiphany which has yet to happened. Important matters which should have been settled months ago are still waiting to be fulfilled and here I am hoping to the high heavens that all will work out fine in the end with no clear direction in mind. My life has become one great, twisted ball of hope, joy, agony, denial, confusion and fear.
So here’s hoping to a miracle! I’d greatly appreciate it sooner rather than later.